Screw introductions, let's begin.
Have you ever been at a Chinese restaurant and felt like you just really needed the positive reinforcement of a great fortune? It seems as though every time I frequent my favorite hole-in-the wall I am anticipate what my fortune will say more than if my meal will be delicious. I put quite a bit of weight on that little strangely-fake cookie.
Strange, I know.
But, really. For those people who have problems and are prone to bouts of depression (um, losers) these tiny little slips hold the potential equivalent of a one hour session with a therapist. What will it say?!?
Well, anyways, that's why yesterday after I finished my sweet and sour chicken (um, freaking delicious) and I tore into my fortune cookie (which, by the way, I don't even really like) and read this fortune:
"You will win success in whatever calling you adopt."
...I was like, WTF, universe?
That "fortune cookie" was made IN CHICAGO. Who writes these fortunes? Why is that like the third one in a row that has clearly not been edited?
Is that somebody's job, to edit fortune cookies? (Well, obviously not. Or they suck.)
And at the bottom of the little fortune it read:
"Want more? Visit: www.myfreefortune.com"
Well, no, Mr. Fortune Cookie. I do not want more soul-crushing totally unhelpful bits of fake-fortune. Thank you for the offer.